sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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