i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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