She went from zero to smokin in five shots
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
