saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
