dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
