I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
