That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
