Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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