Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
