he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
