Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
