oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
