We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We don't watch enough power rangers
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
