it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
