So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
