Me. At least after what I've been through.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
