Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
