Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think I won the penis lottery.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
