You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
