You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
