it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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