You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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