I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Randomize
