O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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