your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
