Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
