I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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