I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
