You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
