I showed him my bush... on skype.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
