He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
