Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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