I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
