She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This baby is an asshole
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
