Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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