STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
