if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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