I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
