ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
