do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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