butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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