some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sarcasm needs its own font
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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