Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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