you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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