so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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