if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
