I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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