Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
