why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
