Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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