How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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